Prongs and the Quest for Pickles
by flyingthoroughbred
Summary: What will happen when Prongs is deprived of his pickles? DUN, DUN, DUN!
1. Awakening and Snape

Hey everyone! This fic came to me when I was over at my BFF's house and she had a craving for pickles! Hope you enjoy! Please R&R and tell me whether or not I should continue it!

** flyingthoroughbred**

The moonlight shone in on the bedchamber for the sixth year boys in Gryffindor. There were four boys in there: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew. They were all sleeping soundly until….

"Pickles!" Prongs yelled out as he sat bolt up right in bed, "I want PICKLES!" He got out of bed and went to wake up Moony. "Moony," Prongs said as he shook him, "I want PICKLES!"

Moony rolled over and bleary-eyed looked up at Prongs. "Do you have to have them NOW, Prongs?" Moony asked.

"Yes! I must have PICKLES!"

"Fine, we'll go down to the kitchens. Just grab the invisibility cloak."

James grabbed his cloak and they snuck out of the dorm and through the portrait hole.

As they were making their way down to the kitchens, they came upon their favorite person to torture: Snape

"Awww, the two lovers are sneaking off together!" Snape whispered into the air, "How cute!"

Prongs and Moony whipped off the invisibility cloak and glared at Snape.

"How did you know we were here, Snivelus?" Moony asked.

"You two were making enough noise to wake the entire school," Snape sneered.

"Snivelus, I suggest you get out of the way," Moony warned him, "Prongs here has just had a pickle craving, and nothing will stop him until he satisfies it."

"I'll take that into consideration," Snape answered pointing his wand at Moony, "Stupefy!"

Moony dodged the spell and yelled, "Petrificus Totalus!" narrowly missing Snape.

"I don't have time for this," Prongs grumbled under his breath, "PICKLES!" he yelled as he rammed into Snape, causing his wand to go flying.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Moony yelled, causing Snape to become paralyzed. Moony walked over and helped Prongs get up. They walked over and stood over Snape.

"Now why did you do that instead of stunning him or something?" Moony asked Prongs.

"He was in the way for me to get my pickles," Prongs simply stated, "And you know I don't think straight when I don't get my pickles."

"True, old friend, true," Moony answered as he went to grab the invisibility cloak and throw it over him and his friend.

So what did you think? Please click the blurplish button at the bottom of the screen and tell me if I should continue or not!

**flyingthoroughbred**


	2. Kitchen Search

Hey everyone! Here is the second chapter! I did not write all of this myself. My friends moony391, Lily106, and squirrely-wrath wrote parts in this! Thanks to them for helping me out of my writer's block and contributing to this story! Thank you for all of your reviews and please continue to give me your feedback!

**flyingthoroughbred**

**P.S. Do not blame me if all of a sudden you have a craving for purple, homemade, rutabaga flavored pickles!**

Prongs and Moony turned the corner towards the kitchens. As they entered the kitchen, Moony turned to Prongs.

"What kind of pickles do you want?"

"Purple, homemade, that taste like rutabagas," Prongs stated matter-of-factly.

Moony stared. "How about dill?" He questioned his friend.

"No. They have to be purple, homemade, and taste like rutabagas."

"Gross! Why rutabagas?"

"Because I said so!"

"I think you should just go with dill."

"I think it's raining!"

"What!" Moony asked, totally unprepared for the change of subject. He looked out of the window and saw that it was, indeed, raining. "Ummm…..okay. It's raining. So what?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you that it was raining," Prongs answered non-chalantly.

"Ummm…right. Why don't we look for your pickles? What was it? Purple, homemade, and rutabaga-tasting?" Moony asked, changing the subject.

Prongs and Moony dug through all of the cabinets, iceboxes, and all of the drawers looking for Prongs' pickles.

Moony was looking through a cabinet of canned goods when he came to a jar of purplish goop with misshapen sticks in it. '_What the hell is this!_' Moony thought. All of the sudden, Prongs grabbed the jar out of his hands, opened it, and ate one of the stick-like things. He quickly vomited, all over Moony.

"Yuck!" Moony yelled, "What was that for?"

'I thought these were my pickles," Prongs apologized gloomily, "But they're not."

Moony looked around. They had gone through every cabinet, drawer, and icebox, and still they couldn't find purple, homemade, rutabaga-flavored pickles. "It looks like they don't have any," he said to Prongs, "Why don't we go back to bed?"

"Okay," prongs said reluctantly, "But if I don't get my purple, homemade, rutabaga-flavored pickles this week, I am going to turn very ugly! And I have a date with Lilly on Saturday! Moony!" he cried grabbing his friend by the shoulders and shaking him, "I must get my pickles this week!"

"Okay! Okay!" Moony said, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender, "I want to go back to bed. We have breakfast in an hour!" He threw the cloak over himself and Prongs and they made their way back to the their beds to sleep for an hour.

Unfortuanately, at dawn, Padfoot (who didn't know of the pickle fiasco) woke Prongs and Moony, screaming something about Wormtail's fluffy pink hat.

**So what did you think? Please review! Constructive criticism is always welcome!**

**flyingthoroughbred**


	3. Herbology Class

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've had a geometry final and graduation to deal with, so please forgive me! Anyway, here is the third chapter of Prongs and the Quest for Pickles! Hope you enjoy!

** flyingthoroughbred**

"Why so glum, chums?" Padfoot said as he sat down across from Prongs and Moony.

Moony glared at Padfoot, "Well, I was woken up twice last night by a pair of rampaging, idiotic animagi. The first wants purple, rutabaga flavored pickles. So we had to go and search for them. We were unsuccessful so we went back to bed with only an hour until breakfast. Then the second immediately starts jumping on my bed screaming something about Wormtail's fluffy, pink hat."

"Hey! That was me!" Padfoot exclaimed, excitedly pointing that out to Wormtail, who had just sat down, "But who was the other animagus?"

"Hmmm…Let's think, Paddy, who are the only four animagus in the school?" Moony asked him sarcastically.

"Uh….us?" Padfoot answered.

"Correct. And which one of us had severe pickle cravings?"

"Prongs."

"So who do you think the first animagus was?"

"Prongs!"

"Right," Moony told him as he started eating his breakfast.

"Wait a minute," Padfoot said as he got a sudden revelation, "That means that Prongs hasn't had his pickles! Oh no! Get him away from me! The last time he didn't get his pickles, he tied me to a tree in the Forbidden Forest with Wormtail's fuzzy pink rope and left me there for three days!" With that he ran out of the Great Hall screaming.

"Well," Moony said, grabbing his bag and getting up, "We should get to Herbology class."

Prongs got up and followed him, grumbling about not getting his pickles.

"Cheer up, mate," Moony told him as he slapped him on the back, "Maybe Professor Sprout will know where we can get some of those special pickles."

The two Marauders walked into an extremely loud Green House Number Sixteen. Everyone was discussing the upcoming Quidditch match of Gryffindor vs. Slytherin that was to be held on Saturday. Prongs and Moony took their places by Padfoot and Wormtail around the table just in time. Professor Sprout came bustling into the room.

"Good morning class!" she shouted over the quieting din of the green house, "Today we will be practicing our planting skills while making the grounds of Hogwarts a more insect free environment. We will be planting Venus Fly Traps in various places around the grounds."

At this all of the students groaned except Padfoot. Instead he yelled, "Yay! No more bugs!"

"You will group into fours and I will tell you your color area to plant. There is a color-coded map of the planting areas hanging up on the outside of the green house," Professor Sprout continued, "When you have made up your groups, please come and get plants from me and then make your way to your designated area." As she finished, the class immediately broke up into groups.

Padfoot started jumping up and down as the Marauders made their way to get the plants. "I can't wait!" he yelled, "I LOVE dirt!"

Before Moony or Wormtail could move, Prongs lunged at his friend and started strangling him. "Stop being so cheerful!" he growled at Padfoot as his grip tightened around his throat, "There is nothing to be cheerful about since I haven't had my pickles!" Moony and Wormtail finally managed to pry Prongs off of Padfoot just as Professor Sprout came over.

"Misters Lupin, Potter, Black, and Pettigrew," she addressed them in a serious tone, "Since you believe that fighting is a better use of your time in my classroom than doing your assigned work, you will serve a weeks worth of detention. Come to this greenhouse after dinner every night this week and you will fulfill it." She marched away when she had dished out their punishment.

"Oooo, goody!" Padfoot yelled as loudly as he could after almost being strangled to death, "I hope it's more planting! I truly LOVE dirt!" Padfoot had apparently not learned his lesson, but Moony and Wormtail were able to hold Prongs back while Padfoot received the plants from Professor Sprout and skipped outside to look at where they were supposed to go.

"Let it go, mate," Moony told Prongs, "You know Padfoot can't help being hyper." Prongs reluctantly assented as they followed Padfoot outside and towards their planting area, mumbling something about how hyper animagus should help people find their pickles.

When they reached their planting area they were surprised to find another person already there.

"What are you doing here, Snivelly," Prongs hissed, "This is OUR planting area."

"Well, Potter," Snape hissed back, "It looks like Sprout assigned us to the same one. Although I hardly like sharing anything with you."

"The feeling's mutual," Prongs hissed back.

"Right," Moony said as he walked towards the marker with a plant, "Now that you two have had your little intro, let's get down to business shall we? Snivelly, you can go over there by the forest and plant, and we'll stay over here."

"It's just like you to start taking command, Lupin," Snape spat, "Always pumped up with self importance that you believe people will just follow you with out complaint." Moony stopped dead in his tracks. He hated when people said that about him. He felt his temper rising.

"I suggest you take that back, Snivellus," Moony growled out.

"OOOOOOOOO! Snivellus is going down!" Padfoot screamed, jumping up and down with excitement.

"Uh, Moony," Prongs cautioned, "Are you sure you want to fight him here? Sprout is just over there."

"Why would I take something back that I said to you, Dictator?" Snape said in his hoity-toity way, "I have done nothing wrong."

"That's it!" Moony growled as he lunged at Snape. He hit Snape hard in the chest and knocked him to the ground. Soon, there were punches flying and the three Marauders knew that if they didn't pull Moony off Snivellus soon, he would be dead, not that they cared for Snivellus' welfare. They let Snape be pummeled for a few more minutes and then pulled a huffing Moony off of him.

"Let him be Mate," Prongs told Moony, "He's not worth it."

With that, they turned around and started planting. Snape got up and ran off to the Hospital Wing.

The Marauders were getting bored with all of the planting, so they decided to play a game of truth or dare. "Okay, I'll go first," Padfoot said, "Prongs, I dare you to eat a handful of dirt."

"Okay," Prongs said as he grabbed the required amount and stuffed it into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed. "Not so bad," he told them, "That is, after you get past the worms and grubs."

"EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!" Wormtail screeched, "I can't believe you did that! It's disgusting!"

"Oh come one, Wormy," Moony teased, "You can't tell me that you're afraid of eating a little dirt?"

"N-no," Wormtail stuttered, "I am just afraid of d-dirt."

"What!" the other Marauders screamed.

"You're afraid of dirt?" Moony asked, "How can you be afraid of dirt? It's everywhere!"

"I kn-know," Wormtail said.

"Well, that explains why he never stores anything under his bed or in the floor boards," Prongs stated.

"This is too perfect!" Padfoot exclaimed, "Wormy's afraid of dirt! Wormy's afraid of dirt!"

Padfoot's chant was contagious and soon Prongs and Moony had joined in. They chanted until Wormtail had run away crying.

"What a baby," Moony said.

"Yeah," Prongs said, "Even more so than with his teddy, blanket, and ba-ba combined!"

They all roared with laughter until Sprout came over and threatened them that if they didn't get back to work they would serve another weeks worth of detention.

So what did you think? I know that it's not up to its usual funniness, but I have a sort-of writer's block! Please R&R! Thanks to Lizzy101 for beta-reading this for me!

**flyingthoroughbred**


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